The pearl in the park

‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it. (Matthew 13:45-46)

A bench in McCollum Park invites my presence and awakens prayer: Dearest One, help me be open to you. Fill my thoughts with your pea ... ce.

Consolation and Presence washes through me before I finish the word, answering the prayer that is deepest in my heart and most often on my lips.

Peace: the presence of Love Unlimited, Love Uncreated, the Mystery who is the soul’s source and deepest center, always present, waiting ... for the mind and heart to open the door upon which this holiness knocks.

Today, I manage to find the handle. The door effortlessly swings open, for it is not I who open it but this Love whose longing to console my heart infinitely exceeds my own.

Questions that occasioned my retreat to the park recede then disappear, knots untied, my heart released from solving the mystery of myself, what I am to do and be as my seventh decade draws to a close.

The question of choosing this way or that remain. Shall I continue in a ministry which has long drawn me or let it go for another way of loving life in the name of the Love who won me long ago, playing with my heart, coaxing me close in the days I chased Blondie, my cocker spaniel, across the wide fields of the Warren fairgrounds? 

I think it was then that I first knew the Love who sets the heart free, even though I didn’t understand who this Love is or what was happening in me.

But then do we ever really know who this ever-greater Love is or understand the mysteries of our hearts? A bit, I think, especially in moments when we feel ourselves enveloped in the Love who invited me to this bench on a July afternoon.

After all, Love’s joy is revealing the wonder of Love Unlimited in the confines of our finite hearts, the pearl of great price at home in mortal measure. Who knew it could be so? Well, we do.

I came out here looking for a bit of peace, only to discover, again, that it is not peace I crave, but You. For You, Loving Mystery, are my peace, the Holy Presence who says, “Stay here awhile. I have something beyond all the world’s wealth to give you.”

David L. Miller