Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Isaiah 40:4

Every valley shall be lifted up,
   and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
   and the rough places a plain. 

The holy way

There is a way home into the heart of God. I walked it last Monday night.

Filled with anxiety about the uncontrollable future, I went to a favorite place to pray. I prayed aloud, my voice echoing against the brick walls of the tiny chapel, and I was utterly honest, holding nothing back. 

I named my faults and uncertainties, my failures and fears, self-doubt and inner accusations. I surrendered the absurd delusion that I am or should be more or better or different from the needy, fallible human hearts I meet each day. 

I was humbled, knowing I but one more human soul who can no more control the future that he can erase the past.

I made no promises to God about doing better, for I cannot assure myself or anyone else that my efforts to live and love and serve will by any better or worse than they have been for years.

Mountains of pride fell to the chapel floor. And my valley of sadness and shame was revealed as a product of the arrogance that I should be something more than human.

I surrendered to my life and limitations as they are, releasing the mind’s ceaseless chatter about what could or should or might be, accepting life’s circumstances and situations as the reality I must live.

Ironically, surrender brought peace. It stirred hope. It calmed the anxiety. It released everything to the Holy One from came a calm I could not give myself.

Hope, it seems, is born as you abandon yourself to your human limitations and situation, and open yourself to what God may bring. 

This is the holy way, the way the heart opens to God and begins to feel the stirring of life that is Life and Love that never dies. 

Pr. David L. Miller