Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Today’s text

John 3:13-17

No one has gone up to heaven except the one who came down from heaven, the Son of man; as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so must the Son of man be lifted up so that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him. For this is how God loved the world: he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. For God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but so that through him the world might be saved.

Reflection

What does it mean to believe in you, Jesus? This is the way of eternal life, and I don’t want to miss it. I crave life that is not like the last swallow in the glass, not like spring streams that dry and fail in desert sands.

Everything we touch fails us, sooner or later. Our souls grow accustomed to disappointment. But despite broken promises, beyond the sinking awareness that what I want is always beyond my straining fingers, there is this desire that refuses to leave.

I am moved by desire for life that does not fail, for a fullness that will not wane or disappoint. I long for life that goes on, a life in which I tingle with the savory presence of love surrounding, enveloping, lifting me into the awareness of that for which I have no name.

And I want that now, tomorrow, the next day, without end. I want never-waning awareness of that surrounding mystery that even yesterday enveloped my being. I basked in its embrace and grew light as air. Gravity was gone. I was there, present only to this one moment, needing, wanting, nothing but this presence, this awareness.

And then the magic passed, leaving more alive than before but not alive enough, not to satisfy the undeniable desire that is always there for life eternal.

But for a moment, in the presence of another’s prayer for me--and mine for them--eternity was now, and my desire found its fulfillment--and its source. For what is the desire for eternity, if not the voice of eternity speaking from the depth of a mortal soul a soul who knows he is intended for more? For you.

And in rarest moments I know you, the One I want.

So what is to believe in you, Jesus? Is it to believe that you are the way to this life eternal, a means to an end? I don’t think so.
I think you are this life. This life was in you, pouring through you at every moment of your breathing, except maybe in your feeling of abandonment on the cross.

I think believing in you is believing in the life that was and is in you--and in us, too, however partially and obscured it may be in our lives. I think believing in you is putting ourselves in the places where we are most likely to get swept away in the love you are, knowing there the eternity for which our hearts hunger.

Thanks for moments of holy knowing.

Pr. David L. Miller